Well, friends, the first week is over. I can honestly say that it has passed by fairly quickly. I thought it would be more difficult. I thought it would feel like deprivation. Ha! I guess if I were used to eating a bag of chips for my snack then it would feel like an uphill battle. So I’m thankful that I was able to come into this new lifestyle with some good habits already started.
I stepped on the scale today and I have lost 2.7 lbs for the first week!! I’m not going to lie, I had hoped to see more but given the fact that I’m not exercising and my body is still adjusting to this change in eating it’s still a loss of weight! With the first week over I can now exercise. I’m going to start slowly this weekend and then I’ll meet with Terri, the Wellness Nurse at VitalSigns on Monday. We’ll see what sort of game plan we can come up with then.
Many have been asking me how I’m doing. If I feel ok and what not? And I honestly have felt fine. As the week has gone on I’ve started to feel a little more sluggish and a little light headed but nothing I can’t live with. Last Saturday was the most rough as far as being hungry. I think it was more a mental game than anything because I was at home all day and wouldn’t let myself snack or graze. So I thought I was more hungry than I was because I withheld. I have been able to stay below 40 carbs this week with ease. I believe that’s because I took the time to pick out the right food when I went grocery shopping last week and people were praying for me! Taking the time to plan and plan well is key to seeing any success.
The one thing I didn’t plan on was the emotional battle I’d face. I’m not addicted to food but I do find myself emotionally eating. Whenever I am depressed, excited, lonely, bored or just hungry I eat. My go to place was Taco Bell. It’s fairly cheap and to me it taste really good. At one point a few years ago, I could find myself mindlessly ordering off the menu and then proceeding to eat everything I had bought. Thankfully, I recognized that destructive habit and stopped. I was still eating a considerable amount of food but I was at least acknowledging what I was putting in my mouth.
Wednesday night was my first battle and it rolled into Thursday. I was heading home from church and feeling lonely. I was tired and the last thing I wanted to do was cook when I got home. I wanted to stop at Taco Bell or Zaxby’s and just call it a night. I knew I was stronger than that impulse but I was frustrated nonetheless. When I got home, I pulled a book out started reading and fixed myself some dinner an hour later. I didn’t even want to think about food at that point. So yesterday, I thought I was good to go but the desire to eat anything was so strong. I was almost to the point of tears by the time lunch came around. I texted my mom and some dear friends and asked for prayer. I was tired. Tired of chicken, tired of cooking, tired of eating so simply and tired of thinking about what to eat. And then I berated myself for being a baby about this … I mean … it’s only day 6! It’s too soon to be feeling like this … “get with it, Melody!”
I beleive that my emotional eating has been masking a spiritual battle in my life. I was reminded of something one of my pastor’s recently said in a sermon, “Satan doesn’t know your future but he has your past memorized.” My biggest struggle in my personal relationship with Christ is trust. I’m prone to doubt. Satan knows this and he knows all the buttons to push to set me on a downward spiral. This week it was lonliness. Wednesday night, it was driving home alone for the hundredth time. Thursday, it was simply needing a hug and not having anyone to give me one. It’s silly little things that if I dwell on them for too long can blow out of proportion quickly and they tend to be things that on most days I could care less about. I doubt verses like “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 I know this in my core but I tend to doubt it’s true because I don’t see the physical manifestations of His promise. So I decided to take a deep breath, say a quick prayer and refocus. I went to Walmart after work to purchase a few items to change my menu up a bit and celebrated not giving in yesterday with a 15.7 carb meal (I still had 18 carbs left for the day by dinner time). It was good! The Lord is good. He is faithful. And I will be ok. One week down … 11 more to go. One battle fought … one emotional trigger recognized and conquered for the day! The victory is the Lord’s!
To God be the Glory for the great things He has done this week in my life!